Dogma by Lars Iyer

Author:Lars Iyer [Iyer, Lars]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Tags: Fiction, Literary, Humorous
ISBN: 9781612190471
Publisher: Melville House
Published: 2012-02-21T05:00:00+00:00

An idiot drools: that’s my life, that drooling, W. says. An idiot scratches his head: that’s my life, that scratching.

Do I understand, really understand, the reality of my situation?, W. wonders. Of course not; it would be quite impossible. I’m not really aware of myself, says W., which is my saving grace. Because if I were …

It’s enough that W. knows. It’s enough that he’s aware of the reality of my situation. When he tells others about it, they scarcely believe him; they have to blot it out. When he tells them about the reality of my situation, they think only of blue skies and summer days, of childhood holidays and birthday parties …

Glee: that’s what W. always sees on my face. That I’m still alive, that I can still continue, from moment to moment: that’s enough for me, W. says. He supposes it has to be.

If I realised for one moment … If I had any real awareness … But it would be too much, W. says. I couldn’t know what I was, and continue as I am. I couldn’t come into any real self-knowledge.

‘That’s what saves you’, W. says. ‘Your stupidity’. If only he knew …: That’s what everyone thinks when they see me, W. says. That’s what he thinks.

Meanwhile, it’s left to him to bear the terrible fact of my existence, W. says. It’s his problem, not mine as it should be, W. says. Everyone blames him for me.—‘What’s he doing here?’, they ask. ‘Why did you bring him?’ He has to find all the excuses, W. says. He has to be sorry in my place.

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